For the past year I been writing and rewriting this posts way too many time and leaving it on draft for long of period of time and I just bring myself to finish it and share it but this year I want to be more open and not care so much as to what people have to say about it and for people know something that I been keeping to myself for a long time until now.
As you can pretty much see from the tittle of this posts I been living with scoliosis for around 13 years, apart from close family and a couple of friends know that I have scoliosis and honestly the thought of more people knowing about it is making me a little anxious, I want to open up about scoliosis as not many people are aware of it and to also help anyone who is feeling self couscous of having it and sharing my experience of being more open about it.
For those who don’t know what Scoliosis is, its a medical condition in which a person’s spine has a sideways curve. The curve is usually a ‘S’ or ‘C’. The Cause of most cases is unknown but believed to involve a combination of genetic and environment factors. Scoliosis occurs in about 3% of people and mostly occurs between the ages of 10 and 20. IF you do want to know more here is a link. Here is the back story from when I found out to now.
When I was 9 or 10 in assembly a friend of mine who was sat behind me draw an s shade with her finger on my back and told me that my back was like an ‘S’ but being kids you don’t really notice or even pay attention, fast forwarding to when I was 12 at a family birthday party and someone noticed I had a slight bump on my right side of my back to which point they (parents and uncles) checked to see what it could be which resulted in them having no idea how it could of happened and making an appointment with my GP to get check out.
GP told us we had to go see a back specialist who will actually tell us more about it, I had several appointments with so many doctors until one told us everything and looked more into it and proceeded on telling my parents I had scoliosis and that could be genetic and asking if anyone else in the family had it which they didn’t know. I remember being asked to bend forward as far as possible and they notice I couldn’t and I had a curve which then proceeded on doing a bunch of x rays and all sorts (not fun when your a child).
Due to my scoliosis being over the 45 degree it meant I had to get surgery, I was scheduled to have surgery in November 2004 (if I’m not wrong) but got pushed back to January and in that time my back curved a lot more, to which point if I didn’t have surgery doctors said that I could be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.
Operation took 7 hours, they cut down my spine which I have a long scar going from the top of my spine all the way to the bottom, I have metal instrumentation to correct the curve. I was then in hospital for a good month, learning to walk again and let me tell you going through that has a child and having to learn everything again is the hardest thing, you have a lot of break downs (mentally), loose of appetites and so many other things I have blocked out. As I was such an active child my recovering process was fast which doctors would be shocked to seeing me walk on my own on the 3rd week and by the 4th week I was already running around, which I almost gave my parents heart-attacks from it.
When leaving hospital on my 4th week if I’m correct, I was fitted with a back brace and god it was the horrible, itchy and uncomfortable and I had to wear it for 24 hours every single day for 3 months, this is a process to help your bank be in place. I still remember being at home for 3 months bored doing nothing other than being in bed or watching TV.
After 3 months of good progression I was told I could return back to school, I had to leave classes 5-10 minutes early so that I could be at my next lesson on time without anyone pumping into me, I had to have a teacher take me to my classes for the first few months and then I would be aloud to go on my own.
Around 5 months after surgery I was aloud to take the brace off when at home for a couple hours and when I would go sleep but when out I had to wear it all the time.
Fast forwarding to 13 years later, 24 going on 25 and I am doing great, I do still have a slight lump on my back but nothing like I was before and long scar which I have grown to love. Throughout the years I have been very self conscious, I would always wear jackets/ cardigans even in the Summer because I didn’t want people to see the lump or anyone knowing and it wasn’t until Last year in Croatia that I need to let the fear go, wearing bardot tops and dresses and showing my back for the first time in 12 years in public.
I do still very much have days when I honestly feel body conscious that I just want to crawl up in a ball and cry but I have great days where I don’t care. This year I am trying to be more opened and not care as much if people know and showing it off.
The long term causes that I have to live with is bad back pains that are very painful and sometimes I have days where I can hardly walk because the pain is so powerfully but that is mainly 20% of the year that it happens and then 80% I’m fine and I have come to realise what the causes are and what I prevent from getting those aches, which are sitting down on a chair for more than 3 hours a day, standing up without moving for long periods of hours or walk for hours without rest and I have come to a routine where if I’m standing for hours I need to keep moving around doing stuff so my back isn’t stiff, if I sit down to do blog stuff or anything else I make sure to sit for an hour or so and then move else where then go back a few hours later.
If you do have any questions or going through it and what to talk about scoliosis I am hear to talk.